The Three-Step Process to Transforming Overwhelming Feelings

I love helping mums build up their wellbeing tool-kit and this three step process is a wonderful tool to have when you are experiencing the feeling of overwhelm.


As mums, feeling overwhelmed almost seems part and parcel of our role, but it really doesn’t have to be! I understand that as a mum you have so much going on because raising young children is non-stop. If you’re feeling tired with a to-do list of 100 plus items you’re not alone.


Gorgeous mum, despite this, I know that it’s possible to have a lot on your plate and effectively manage the feeling of being overwhelmed. In fact, by following my easy and effective three-step process below you may be able to turn your overwhelming feelings into a wellbeing booster in no time at all.


As one of my favourite authors of all time Eckhart Tolle said, “It’s not what you do, it’s how you do what you do that really matters.” This beautiful quote epitomises the way mums with thriving wellbeing go about their day-to-day activities. In a nutshell, they use those overwhelming feelings to their advantage. They feel the overwhelming energy that comes from what seems like an endless list of tasks and use it in a way that serves them and transforms their wellbeing!


When you transform overwhelming feelings into a wellbeing tool ready to support you, those feelings will no longer make you anxious. These feelings are your in-built wellbeing guidance system and when you begin to feel overwhelmed you can implement the following three-step process: Stop, Breathe and Clarify. Recognising feelings of overwhelm and transforming them into a tool that guides you back to feeling calm is invaluable. It’s all about your mindset and how you translate how you feel into your actions that follow.



When you begin to feel overwhelmed, commence the following process:


Pause and acknowledge that you are feeling overwhelmed. This step is key in reducing the onset of stress. You may feel that you don’t have time to stop – so I ask you to consider if you have time to be exhausted, unwell or disconnected?


It may feel counter-intuitive, however, pausing to acknowledge how you feel is an essential step in the process to resetting your wellbeing. The sign you need to stop may sound like negative self-talk, such as, “Okay I’m at my wits end, I’m over everything and everyone, I just want to do nothing and be by myself for a minute”.  It may sound like, ‘overreacting’ or ‘yelling’ or ‘blaming’ your children or partner. It may show up as a sore throat (or another physical ailment) or even the desire to overindulge in chocolate or wine. However this overwhelming feeling presents itself in your life, be conscious of the signs and decide that you will stop.



Now that you’re aware that you’re out of alignment take three slow, deep breaths and remind yourself that you’re okay and that you can guide your wellbeing back on track. You have the wellbeing tools to do so you just need to remember to draw them out of your tool-kit.


Continue to take a few slow, deep breaths and if you can, sit down on your bed or in a quiet room providing yourself with some space to simply sit and be still. If you cannot sit by yourself then clear your schedule for later that evening so that you can sit and breathe. This is essential ‘nurturing you’ wellbeing time. Setting aside this precious time can become a regular part of your week as it will help you manage your feelings of overwhelm.




Well done lovely, you have made it to step three so please take a moment to celebrate that you are taking time to nurture yourself. Prioritising your wellbeing is such an important role as a mum and with practice it can become a brilliant, lifelong habit.


Step three is about clarifying the following four questions:

1. How do you want to feel?

2. What is really important to you?

3. What’s your desired outcome?

4. What wellbeing tweaks will you make to help you achieve what you want?


By taking time to reflect upon your values, your main goals as a mum and how you wish to lead your family, you gain clarity and confidence to help guide your wellbeing back on track.


It can be easy in today’s busy-busy world to get caught up in the endless demands, events and situations that are surrounding you, however, you have the choice to clarify and focus on what you need and what is really important to you and your family. By honing in on your core values, you eliminate unnecessary clutter and chaos from your day and you feel more focused on what you need and how you will go about it.


Clarity is power and when we feel strong we know what to do and are comfortable saying yes to things that serve us and confident in saying no more easily to things that don’t nurture our wellbeing.



Beautiful mum, the ripple effect that comes from nurturing your wellbeing and managing your feelings is a wonderful gift to yourself and your precious family. Your children are watching to see how you manage challenging situations as well as big feelings. They learn by what they experience and this three-step process is invaluable not only for you but your entire family.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this three-step process so please comment below lovely.

Rhi xo

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